Hogwash for Everyone Hogwasy

I don’t usually bother with MarketWatch, but every now and then I take a peek, just to see what pearls of wisdom their so-called experts are dishing out. So, today, I come across an article that claims, “This is your big chance to secure your future!”—because, apparently, I’m about to inherit $600,000. What should I do with all this glorious cash? And let me tell you, these kinds of questions absolutely grind my gears. Why? Because the advice is always, and I mean always, completely ridiculous.

The second the question is asked, the “expert” launches into a mind-numbing lecture on DIY mutual funds, ETFs, market bonds, asset allocation—you know, the usual. But here’s the kicker: they don’t ask a single personal question! No consideration for who this person is, what their mindset is, their emotional or intellectual state, past income experience, risk tolerance—nothing. No mention of their spouse, children, or future plans. It’s like being at a doctor’s office where everyone gets the same treatment. You get penicillin! You get penicillin! Oh, you’re allergic? Who cares? Everyone gets penicillin! Kind of like the one-size-fits-all COVID shot—because that worked out well, right?

But seriously, one day, someone is going to sue these financial “advisors” for spewing out generic, baseless advice online. And I can’t wait for it. It’s about time the SEC and FINRA figure out a way to rein in these clowns. This isn’t advice—it’s just throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks. What’s worse? Some poor souls actually listen to it. And that is the real danger.